You deserve to like Mondays

Time Needed: 15m Activity

Outcome: Align your week to impact

Hey Reader,

Last week I spent an afternoon with a leadership team practicing coaching skills. A lot landed. But the image people were still repeating as they packed up was a lighthouse.

Here it is.

When someone brings you a problem, you're the lighthouse. You're not in their boat. Your hands aren't on the wheel. Your job is to shine light on the rocks and be a steady, consistent presence. Whether they steer around those rocks is theirs to own.

Simple to say. Hard to do — because most of us got promoted for being excellent at steering.

Why we grab the wheel

When someone's stuck, jumping in with the answer feels generous. Often it isn't. It settles and soothes us. Their uncertainty makes us uncomfortable, and solving it makes the discomfort stop for us, not for them. They walk away a little smaller, and we walk away carrying one more thing that was never ours.

That's the quiet cost: every time you take the wheel, you take the accountability with it.

What coaching actually is

My one-sentence definition: coaching is purposefully holding space to help another person explore a topic, reach a goal, and decide their own action steps.

Reach for it when you have confidence in someone's ability — or want to build their problem-solving muscle — and when the accountability is theirs to hold.

A caveat, because a lighthouse isn't always the answer

If the boat is headed for something that sinks the whole fleet, or someone genuinely doesn't have the information, you're not a lighthouse in that moment. Say so, and be directive. Coaching is one chair, not the only one. The real skill is knowing which chair you're in — and saying it out loud. Being directive, offering mentoring (with consent, not advice bombing) or refering to an expert are all excellent choices on how to support or lead others.

For yourself

This week's prompt: Where am I steering someone else's boat — and what is it costing me?

Notice one conversation this week where you feel the pull to fix. Before you answer, ask one question instead: "What have you already tried?"

For your team

This week's prompt: Who on my team have I quietly stopped trusting to drive?

Not out loud — in practice. Whose work do you redo, pre-solve, or check twice? Pick one person and one problem, and hand back the wheel. Then keep the light on.

Hit reply and tell me: whose boat are you secretly steering right now? I read every one.

Monday Hour 1

Here's your weekly invitation to take time for yourself to approach your week with intention, a focus on impact and prioritize leading yourself in human-centered ways.

Monday Hour 1

What’s the most impactful thing you can accomplish this week? What bigger goal does this help you nudge towards?
What is your body craving? Do you have space on your calendar for this?
What is one thing you can delegate and say NO to?

Breathe in, breathe out. Do the damn thing.

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Thanks for reading & leading.

Reply anytime to let me know your takeaway or how using this week’s tool worked for you.

Your Coach,

P.S. This concept comes from my Coaching Skills for Leaders workshop. I have a couple of slots left to deliver it this year — reply if your team could use it.

When you're ready, here's how I can support

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