Hey Reader,
I used to feel SO uncomfortable in any silence I would quickly fill it. With either rambling, repetition or thinking aloud. This wasn't a problem until I was leading teams, and it really became an issue leading teams of hundreds. I really had to pause and reflect on how much I was TALKING, vs how much I was creating space for others.
For me, I learned this was rooted in anxiety. Silence meant bad things. I had to relearn the power of the space, and my coaching training unlocked this for me.
There is power in pauses.
Folks are processing.
Waiting for the moment to jump in.
Waiting for the invitation to speak.
Considering a point that was just made.
Taking notes in their own language.
As a leader it became my responsibility to allow silence. To sit with people in it, and to retrain my brain to calm the F down.
To be real with you, I'm still learning this and my hack is to sign the ABCs twice in my head before I'm allowed to say anything again. π€«π₯°
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You can also LISTEN to more in the silence.
β’ What are the vibes of the "space" (physical or virtual)
β’ What is NOT being said?
β’ Who is speaking and who is NOT speaking? Can you invite dissenting opinions or contrary thoughts?
β’ What is body language telling you?
β’ Can you notice shifts in energy in the "room"?
Steal my prompts to pull more from silence in inclusive ways:
"Let's take a minute to think on our own, and bring back more opinions to the group." (set a timer) |
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"I'd like to hear differing points of view. What are we not saying aloud?"
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"I want to hear from you, email me or message me if that works better for you." |
Let me know how you tackle this and if you've learned tips and tricks I can share in an upcoming issue.
Ok, ok, here's your Monday Hour 1 π₯°
Monday Hour 1
Focus on impact and prioritize leading yourself in human-centered ways, while weaving in some investigation into silence in the week ahead:
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- If you got ONE thing across the finish line this week what would it be?
- Does your calendar reflect your biggest priority?
- How do you experience silence? What do you notice? Anything you want to tweak?
- How might you invite more voices and contributions into your thinking this week?
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Coming up in my world: