Hey Reader,
Communication style has been top of mind for me this week, and i wanted to share one of the "aha" moments I had in my leadership – ask better questions – not only to get better answers but as a way to build trust and connection with your humans.
I invite you to experiment this week ahead.
Open-ended questions expand awareness
Try swapping binary, pressure-loaded questions (that accidentally invite defensiveness) for open-ended prompts that create room for thinking. Instead of “Can you get this done today?” try “What would it take to get this done today, and what tradeoff would we be making?”
Instead of “Why didn’t this happen?” try “What got in the way, and what do we want to adjust for next time?”
Remove judgment from your wording
When in a position of power, your words carry judgement even when you don't intend it. You must mitigate this.
If you hear yourself loading a question with blame, absolutes, or assumptions, rewrite it in neutral language that focuses on facts, impact, and options. Examples: “Help me understand what you’re seeing” or “Walk me through your current plan” or “What are you optimizing for right now?” If you want to layer in an “energy check,” add: “What part of this is draining energy, and what part is giving energy?” You will get clearer information and you signal psychological safety without having to make a speech about it.
Let silence do some work
After you ask the question, pause long enough for someone to think. Not “awkward silence,” just “thinking silence.” Leaders often fill the gap with hints, answers, or a better question, and that robs someone of the chance to contribute.
For me, I sing the ABCs in my head – sometimes twice if I can see cues of thinking.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO... you get it.
Monday Hour 1
Here's your weekly invitation to take time for yourself to approach your week with intention, a focus on impact and prioritize leading yourself in human-centered ways.
Monday Hour 1
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- What’s the most impactful thing you can accomplish this week?
- What important questions need answered this week?
- Where can you invite curiosity with others?
- Where can you questions the necessity of a task to provide clarity?
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